when i grow up...
I apply constant pressure on myself to achieve a business-woman, tigerlady-like prestige in my job.
Being that I still get carded for cigarettes, have curly hair and a freckled face, I have to work pretty damn hard to obtain this image. I do all the things I think I need to do - dress for the job I want (trying to mirror my boss's dress code as best I can without looking like the office brown-noser), carry myself in a confident manner, and, most importantly, excel at my job to the best of my ability to gain the respect I feel I deserve. But working in a corporate environment where I am looked upon as a "junior employee" (yes, I have actually heard one of the jackass directors in my office refer to his employees as this) I can't help but feel that my efforts are hardly inheriting the "strong corporate woman" image I am trying to portray...but rather a young girl trying on her mom's clothes and make-up to look more grown up. Does this feeling ever go away? Will I ever feel as though I am good enough? And by good enough I simply mean, good enough to gain the respect and consideration I so eagerly desire? I know I am just a mere 27 years old...but how long do I have to wait?
Just as I begin to gain that feeling of confidence...like, "Wow, I'm really on a role! My boss is really going to notice me now..." - I feel as though someone chops me at my knees and puts me in the place where I was trying so hard to forget I was - at the "junior employee" level. But isn't a large part of success due to good luck?...of course, along with hard work and talent - of which I feel I already have and give. I certainly don't feel like I know it all and have lots and lots to learn. But when am I gonna get thrown a bone? Do I have to be old and sitting in a corner office to gain any respect?
Being that I still get carded for cigarettes, have curly hair and a freckled face, I have to work pretty damn hard to obtain this image. I do all the things I think I need to do - dress for the job I want (trying to mirror my boss's dress code as best I can without looking like the office brown-noser), carry myself in a confident manner, and, most importantly, excel at my job to the best of my ability to gain the respect I feel I deserve. But working in a corporate environment where I am looked upon as a "junior employee" (yes, I have actually heard one of the jackass directors in my office refer to his employees as this) I can't help but feel that my efforts are hardly inheriting the "strong corporate woman" image I am trying to portray...but rather a young girl trying on her mom's clothes and make-up to look more grown up. Does this feeling ever go away? Will I ever feel as though I am good enough? And by good enough I simply mean, good enough to gain the respect and consideration I so eagerly desire? I know I am just a mere 27 years old...but how long do I have to wait?
Just as I begin to gain that feeling of confidence...like, "Wow, I'm really on a role! My boss is really going to notice me now..." - I feel as though someone chops me at my knees and puts me in the place where I was trying so hard to forget I was - at the "junior employee" level. But isn't a large part of success due to good luck?...of course, along with hard work and talent - of which I feel I already have and give. I certainly don't feel like I know it all and have lots and lots to learn. But when am I gonna get thrown a bone? Do I have to be old and sitting in a corner office to gain any respect?
posted by GoodTimes at 5:05 PM
1 Comments:
Someone once told me that once you turn 30 you start to earn the respect of your peers. It's complete bs that respect is determined by an age but whatever. I guess we all need some reason to look forward to turning 30.
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